Tom's favorite color without a doubt was yellow. Kevin's was most certainly blue.
Tom was an aspiring birdwatcher. He liked to keep his bird watching skills razor sharp by people peeping from time to time. Never was Tom seen without his binoculars. Kevin would often accompany Tom on his bird-peeping expeditions. Tom always knew where to find chicks. Kevin on the other hand, he had a keen eye for spotting other birdwatchers. Especially the handsome ones.
Kevin wasn't without aspirations himself. He fancied opening a cupcake shop someday. Kev's Kakes. Back home in Indiana, Kevin's mother loved to entertain guests with grainy home footage of 3-year old Kevin using his Easy-Bake Oven. She bought him his first apron. Yes, it was paisley. No, it wasn't on sale.
Tom was a Scorpio. Kevin happened to be a Gemini. No, it wasn't the most compatible friendship, but Tom sure loved baked goods. Plus, Kevin's maternal grandmother had a pretty sweet bachelorette pad.
So anyways, after a long hard day of peepin', the boys were hangin' over at Kevin's grandma's crib, watchin' TV. Kev had just put a big batch of rugelach in the oven. They had approximately 20 minutes to kill.
Casually sprawled out on the floor like a professional model, Kevin couldn't help but think how Tom looked like a canary in his yellow. He giggled to himself, then went back to watching Antiques Roadshow. Tom sat there watching television through his binoculars. Tom soon grew tired of watching television with his binoculars. Peeping down at Kevin from his perched position on the couch, Tom mentally remarked at how Kevin looked like a handsome bluebird. Sitting there with his binoculars backwards, Tom also noticed how the blue in Kevin's socks and sweater brought out the color in his robin's egg blue eyes. He continued to watch Kevin focus on the TV program. Kevin had a stern brow, like a slightly angry bird's. His teeth were whiter than a virgin dove. Tom subtly turned his binoculars around for a closer inspection. When Kevin smiled, his dimples were suddenly the only two things in Tom's entire world. Kevin's cheeks were rosier than a flamingo. (Grandma liked to keep it toasty up in that bitch.) Venturing southward, it was clear to Tom that underneath Kevin's tight blue sweater was anything but a bird chest.
Venturing even further south DING! The timer in the kitchen went off. The rugelach were done! Kevin instantly jumped up and scampered into the kitchen.
Tom sat there on the couch, confused.
Was he just blueballed?
Tom was an aspiring birdwatcher. He liked to keep his bird watching skills razor sharp by people peeping from time to time. Never was Tom seen without his binoculars. Kevin would often accompany Tom on his bird-peeping expeditions. Tom always knew where to find chicks. Kevin on the other hand, he had a keen eye for spotting other birdwatchers. Especially the handsome ones.
Kevin wasn't without aspirations himself. He fancied opening a cupcake shop someday. Kev's Kakes. Back home in Indiana, Kevin's mother loved to entertain guests with grainy home footage of 3-year old Kevin using his Easy-Bake Oven. She bought him his first apron. Yes, it was paisley. No, it wasn't on sale.
Tom was a Scorpio. Kevin happened to be a Gemini. No, it wasn't the most compatible friendship, but Tom sure loved baked goods. Plus, Kevin's maternal grandmother had a pretty sweet bachelorette pad.
So anyways, after a long hard day of peepin', the boys were hangin' over at Kevin's grandma's crib, watchin' TV. Kev had just put a big batch of rugelach in the oven. They had approximately 20 minutes to kill.
Casually sprawled out on the floor like a professional model, Kevin couldn't help but think how Tom looked like a canary in his yellow. He giggled to himself, then went back to watching Antiques Roadshow. Tom sat there watching television through his binoculars. Tom soon grew tired of watching television with his binoculars. Peeping down at Kevin from his perched position on the couch, Tom mentally remarked at how Kevin looked like a handsome bluebird. Sitting there with his binoculars backwards, Tom also noticed how the blue in Kevin's socks and sweater brought out the color in his robin's egg blue eyes. He continued to watch Kevin focus on the TV program. Kevin had a stern brow, like a slightly angry bird's. His teeth were whiter than a virgin dove. Tom subtly turned his binoculars around for a closer inspection. When Kevin smiled, his dimples were suddenly the only two things in Tom's entire world. Kevin's cheeks were rosier than a flamingo. (Grandma liked to keep it toasty up in that bitch.) Venturing southward, it was clear to Tom that underneath Kevin's tight blue sweater was anything but a bird chest.
Venturing even further south DING! The timer in the kitchen went off. The rugelach were done! Kevin instantly jumped up and scampered into the kitchen.
Tom sat there on the couch, confused.
Was he just blueballed?
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