chicks and beaches, you know

The girl stood there chewing her gum obnoxiously using only her back molars. Like a cracked out cow chewing its cud.

"Like, ah my gawd- you're the guy who writes that blog."

I looked up from the injured baby seagull I had been tending to. An hour earlier I found the bird struggling to stay afloat in the water, about three miles out. What was I doing three miles out in the sea you ask? Riding around on some dolphins. After I had hitched a ride back to the shore I whittled the young bird a small leg brace from piece of dried driftwood. I tied the brace to its frail leg using some dried kelp. It had been quite hungry after I applied the brace. I chewed up some of my sandwich and fed it to the young seagull chick like a mother bird would. I was pretty confident that it was going to make a full recovery. I would probably keep it as a pet. Teach it to poop on certain people. Fashion it a bird house out of a dumpster. I had decided that I would name the little chicky "Gulliver."

I nodded at the girl. "Yep. That's me."

"I read your blog like, all the time when I'm like, at the beach."

I smiled at her. "Why thank ya miss, that means a lot."

She looked at me, her bronzed face didn't move at all. Except to chew frivolously on that poor piece of gum. The poof in her hair made her brain appear larger and much more present than it really was. 

"Can you write a blog post about me?"

"Sure, if you'd give me a squirt of that Coppertone sunscreen you got there, I'd be more than happy to."

"Ok, hold out your hand."

I obliged.

[squirt]

*       *       *

The girl stood there chewing her gum obnoxiously using only her back molars. Like a cracked out cow chewing its cud.

"I just read the post. You totally wrote about that other chick way more than me, what the hell?"