this little beetle

Doug didn't look or feel any different from the other 464 olive green VW beetles made on that particular summer's day. They had each sparkled with a German glow, and smelled as fresh as the evergreen color that they in fact were. They were all equally grateful that they hadn't been born day before. 

Yesterday's color was split pea green. 

It was June 16th, 1968 when Doug flickered his lights for the very first time. He clutched his axels then cleared his carburator with a healthy throttle. He bumped the FM dial and grinned bumper to bumper. 

He was suddenly very alive, and suddenly very ready to road rage all over the autobahn. 

Except for the fact that he was agonizingly parched. He set out towards the nearest gas station for a fill up.

Gasoline was soon trickling down his dark green exterior as he gulped down gallon after gallon. The sweet succulent perfume of the gasoline danced in Doug's fender and made his tail pipe tingle. He felt a massive burp coming on, and courteously covered it up with his horn. 

After he had more than his fill, Doug slowly rolled out of the gas station lot feeling extremely bloated and absolutely dripping with gasoline. The sun was at the trees, and the shadows were creeping across the road. Doug decided against a late night drive, and backed up into a parking spot to spend the night. He passed out with his lights on.

Doug awoke the next morning groggy, with a throbbing headache. He found himself in a strange shed, dark and dingy and covered in discarded automobile parts. Someone must have put a roofie his gasoline the day before, he reasoned to himself. 

As he cautiously crept out of the shed, he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror. 

Doug was now bright pink. 

He looked down at his license plate.

BRB GRL.

Fabulous, Doug groaned to himself sarcastically. He sheepishly rolled out of the shed and set out for the highway. His procession out of the parking lot was greeted with a chorus of sexually harassing honks from all of the other cars at the gas station.

His odometer read 6 km. Doug's journey had only just begun.