Wednesday, November 28, 2012

those naughty goods



The trench-coated man cautiously and confidently opened his coat to reveal his goods to the girl in front of him.

Marilyn rolled her eyes. She really wished that the man didn’t choose to do this in broad daylight. Wasn’t there a discrete alleyway close by? A park perhaps? Actually, a park would be bad news, Marilyn thought to herself. The innocent eyes of young innocent children do not need to see this.

She looked left and she looked right. The coast appeared to be clear. Her eyes focused back on the goods that were being surreptitiously displayed in front of her.

Broad daylight did have its benefits, Marilyn realized- she could see his goods perfectly without having to hold them up close to her face.

The man had exactly what she wanted. She pointed to the small package at his waist.

“That’ll do.” She stated matter-of-factly as she felt for the wad of bills in her pocket

“Alrighty then,” the man smiled and winked. “Let’s do this.”

He lifted the trench coat up over his head and approached the lass.

Inside the man’s coat it was very, very dark. Marilyn grabbed the package in her hands and handed him the money.

“Anything else today, miss?” His breath smelled like onions.

“Nope, we good, thank you very much.” Marilyn replied. The man immediately backed off and closed up his coat. He adjusted his sunglasses and walked away.

Marilyn placed the package in her purse and skipped home. 

She really had to start budgeting her money better.



Tuesday, November 20, 2012

that man smell

Why in the world does Mrs. Tony Randall love that man?

That man swears. He curses. He chews, he spits.

He burps and leaves the door ajar whenever he shits.

He forgets anniversaries, he never says sorry.

He most likely smells like bad calamari.

But he doesn't. 

That's because he wears "That Man" by Revlon. 

It smells ohsogood. And when it comes to smells, Mrs. Tony Randall is ohsoshallow.