Dennis woke up with a new voicemail on his phone, and a sneaky
suspicion that he didn’t get the job he drug tested for the day prior. Nevertheless,
he placed his cellular device against his ear hole and listened to the message
with bated breath.
[…voicemail…]
Dennis rolled his eyes, he closed his eyes, he kept his
eyes closed. He went back to sleep.
Another drug test, another failure.
Warm Gatorade looked like urine. It felt like urine. It
even frothed like urine. Alas, no matter how hard warm Gatorade tried, it couldn’t
pass for piss like clean genuine urine could. Dennis now realized that.
Not to be discouraged however, Dennis awoke several hours later and
called up his buddy Jenner. Together they played round after round of cranberry juice pong until Dennis sprayed ocean piss, err.. pissed Ocean Spray.
Dennis was job-thirsty, there was no denying that.
Dennis was also addicted to Quaaludes, which he often tried to
deny, to his urine’s chagrin.
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