December 1964

equestrians read playboy

There was a gentleman across the street tending to his thoroughbred. The man's name was Stud.

A young girl named Nancy stood on the opposite side. Nancy was out enjoying the beautiful early evening end of a seemingly perfect autumn day.

It didn't take long for Stud to notice the girl. He figured he had 2-1 odds of picking her up. 

He hopped up onto his horse and gave the reins a tug. "HYA!" 

Horse turned and looked at him with a long face. "You know that's completely unnecessary," he mumbled. "And you're going to have to deal with my bladder for a moment. I have to piss like a racehorse."

Stud rolled his eyes. He took out the latest issue of Playboy and patiently flipped through it as his horse emptied its bladder on the street. Eventually the stream lessened and the drizzle ceased. Stud rolled up the magazine and stuck it in back in his coat. Horse clunked across the cobblestones and over to the dame. 

"Hop on," Stud's outstretched hand beckoned the girl to join him on his noble steed. " I've made us reservations, we don't want to be late."

"Reservations? For what?" The young girl was utterly confused.

Stud buckled the snap on his horseback riding helmet and motioned towards the western horizon.

"The sunset."

Stud was the kind of man that read Playboy.

April 1965

*for best results stroke gently

TONY TOOK HIS MAN-SIZE-STICK OF DEODORANT OUT OF THE MOTHERFUCKING MEDICINE CABINET. HE RIPPED THE FUCKING TOP OFF WITH HIS MOUTH AND ROARED. HE APPLIED PRODUCT TO HIS UNDERARM WITH A MASOCHISTIC STROKE. 

It crumbled to the floor and created a man-size mess!