this nose smells playboy

Henry held the bottle of cologne up to his nose. As he inhaled deeply, he closed his eyes and shivered with delight.

"The wood notes in this one are, impeccable," Henry declared, matter of factly.

The cute girl behind the counter nodded in agreement. 

"Oh yes, and you'll notice that the sandalwood really compliments the-"

"The lavender base notes," Henry finished her sentence. He smiled. 

The girl behind the counter stood there with her mouth partially open in disbelief. She had never met a man with such a keen sense of smell before.

He wasn't done.

"You don't happen to have any more of those orange tic tacs I smell on your breath, do you?" 

The girl closed her mouth and reached beneath the counter and handed them to Henry.

"That's quite the nose you have there," she started, awkwardly. "You are quite good at.. smelling.. things."

He popped a few orange mints in his mouth. "Got it from my daddy," he responded proudly. 

The girl was suddenly overcome with a strong urge to eskimo kiss him so. But she refrained. That wouldn't be professional of her.

Henry could smell the scentual tension in the air. He handed the girl his business card. She held it in her sweaty palms and glanced up at him.

Henry winked. "I'll smell you later. Maybe?"

The girl blushed and nodded.

Later that night, Henry heard the phone ring. He figured it was the girl from behind the fragrance counter. But he didn't budge. He had his nose in the latest issue of Playboy.

Henry was the kind of man who read Playboy.

see Joan smell

Joan Daly says she likes it when guys wear Old Spice. She likes it when pubescent boys wear Axe, and she is particularly fond of babies that smell like they are caked in baby powder.

Joan Daly says that she finds it comforting when decrepit men smell like cigar smoke. She also happens to enjoy it when old women smell like cheap perfume.

If Joan Daly had it her way, wet dogs would smell like dry puppies, and body odor would smell like fresh popcorn.

In Joan Daly's perfect world, that early morning sewer steam would smell like coffee, and instead of flatulence smelling the way it does, the gas emitted from your gastric tank would have the decadence of a gas station.

Because Joan Daly likes it when automobiles have that "new car smell" (despite reports that that "new car smell" is toxic), it can also be assumed that Joan Daly likes it when sneakers have that "fresh-out-of-the-box" smell. We can further assume that Joan Daly likes it when sneaker boxes smell like fresh-out-of-the-oven cardboard.

Joan Daly likes it when it's raining and she can smell a rainbow coming. She likes it when horse poop smells like unicorn shit.

Joan Daly likes to think that her own shit don't stink. Joan Daly once emptied a whole bottle of Old Spice into the toilet to make sure that it didn't.